Pearls arrival

Stepping upon the train, her hood was pulled over her ebony hair and covered her piercing blue eyes. Her name was Pearl; she had just been transferred to Hogwarts from the infamous Beauxbatons academy. It was fuelled with overly happy preppy teenagers that loved nothing more than to dance to slow, boring music, though Pearl always wondered how you can dance with a poker up your arse, most of the girls there were extremely uptight.

Once Pearl had reached the compartment, she peeled off her dark jacket and adjusted her dull grey dress. Her hair fell loosely around her chest as she tried to grab it all to pull into a messy bun. Pearl grinned to herself as she looked out of the big glass window, the train had only just left the station, the view was dark as it looked out into a brick wall.

The sound of crooked wheels coming down the aisle, it grabbed pearls attention, and she dug deep into her pocket and pulled out her money. Sliding the door open she nodded towards the old lady with the colourful cart. “Would you like anything dear? she asked in a quiet but soothing voice.

“A Liquorice Wand, chocolate frog and a cauldron cake.” Pearl handed her the money with a small reluctant smile as she took hold of her sweets. Gliding back into her compartment she took a bite out of her liquorice wand and stared down at her food. She remembered buying a blood flavoured lollipop and how it made her gag. Shivering at the thought she looked out of the window now towards the large greenery.

I wandered aimlessly around the grounds of Hogwarts, my eyes dulled, my skin pale. I still used my spells to survive without anyone really knowing my suffering, but after the death of Lily, even the spells weren't able to hide everything. Spells could hide the bags under my eyes, spells could help me stay awake during the day, but nothing could hide how dead my eyes looked, or how ghostly my skin was becoming.

I did not smile anymore, nor did I smirk, nor laugh. My expression was one of someone who's starting to give up, a frown etched onto my once lush lips, at times the ghost of a memory bringing a pained look to my face. The only time my features changed into anything but depressed, was when I was angry. Then a fire would flicker in my eyes, and my cheeks would flush, and I looked and felt alive. Purely for the feeling of being alive, of living, I found myself becoing angry more often than not. The only good thing I could think of, was that at least it seemed that Odyne was out of my system.

From the neck down, I had been improving if anything, despite my insomnia and restlessness. In fact, it was because I couldn't sleep. Every night, resigned to sleeplessness or nightmares, I had taken to leaving my dorm and running, running all over the grounds. Not only that, but I would find myself throwing things, lifting things, lashing out. Lean muscles were developing, my abs becoming more refined and chisled, my bossom average but appealing. My arms became more powerful, my legs too. I started to become a creature of endurance and fighting capacities, and when matched with my anger it was close to lethal.

In class, I focused intensely, practicing and studying until I mastered all that was taught, and then when I had time spare, when I was not running or improving my strengh, I started to learn what my parents hadn't finished teaching me. I found books, ordered books, every books I could find on the arcane and darkest magics, I took it all in, letting it take me over. Letting it empower me.

Drawn by my power, or by the need to go without pain, I had a horde of loyal followers I called my Hellions, the inner circle made of those I took to be most trust worthy. I could see the teachers were getting worried, but I had no interest in taking anything over. As dark as I might have been becoming, I was not tainted by blood prejudice. I had called Hermione a Mudblood after Lily's death, but not since. If anything, I craved a more peaceful world, where love was not taken at last moment before it could blossom. My dark habits were simply a method of achieving it. I would use any means needed.

But at the moment, it was quiet, I was not angry, nor training, I was in a saddened state, thinking of what I was to become, what I may have been. Gone was my jokativeness, replaced with seriousness ill fitting a 17 year old girl. There had been a gossip in the dorm about a new girl, and I had not joined, just listened. Now I found myself wondering who she was, and why she was coming to Hogwarts.

The train stopped to a halt, outside the window was a tall castle much similar to the last school she attended. She hadn’t put on her uniform, she couldn’t be bothered and she didn’t think that the teachers would mind seeing as it was near the end of the day and everyone already knew what house she was in. Picking up her bags and shoving on her coat she slid the door open and made her way towards the exit, while pulling on her hat.

Stepping out she was introduced by a giant big built man with a long dark beard. He introduced himself as Haggrid. Pearl only nodded and tried to smile with her eyes. Following him towards a small wooden boat, they both sat in and began to slowly rock towards the castle.

The ride was quiet, the man had tried too many times to start a conversation yet Pearl either kept quiet or replied with a simple yes or no, yet before she knew it she was knocked forward slightly when the boat hit the land. Haggrid apologised quickly before helping her off the boat and towards the castle, where he left at the entrance.

“no its okay I can find my own way!” Pearl spoke sarcastically as he began to walk off into the mist. She growled slightly under her breath and began her journey around the grounds of Hogwarts. As she took the first step into people’s sights everyone stopped what they were doing and turned towards her, all staring. “IM SORRY IS THERE SOMETHING IN MY FACE!! “ she shouted a little too loudly, seeing the fear in some of the first years faces. She smirked slightly while adjusting her bag and moved towards the corridors.

I was wandering back to the castle when I heard yelling. Drifting towards the sound, my presence made others step aside to let me through, some cowering, others eager to see a confrontation. I did not know presicely what would happen, I was not in possesion of the 'Sight', but I was doubtful of a directly explosive confrontation, my mood was not one of agression so far today.

I saw a girl I did not know, and because I knew everyone, I knew this must be the new girl. I approched her as she yelled, asking if there was anything on her face, and I saw the first years flinch. A slight flicker of annoyance hit my eyes, but faded back to dullness soon enough. The first years were not my direct responsiblity, but I was resentful someone other than me was able to scare them.

Moving directly infront of the girl, my eyes ran quickly up and down her, weighing up her appearance. This took a bare second, and then I spoke, my eyes looking directly into hers, unwavering eye contact as I was talking.
"Nothing wrong with your face, just your attitude," I commented, not quite emotionless, but instead icy and cold. Not because I didn't like her, I didn't know her, but rather that was how I spoke to everyone when I wasn't fiery. She should know I wasn't being directly hostile, because the ice in my tine was thawed by a lingering sadness.

"You're new, and not in uniform, so you can't blame people for staring," I stated, flicking my hair over my shoulder with my right hand, and out of the corner of my eyes I could see a crowd starting to gather. I turned from the girl to the crowd and my icy demeanor got a new layer of frost, "Though that doesn't mean it's acceptable," I said, then addressing the students, "Everybody move along."

The coldness in my voice was like a icy wind, and the student scattered while I returned my gaze to the new student. "I'm Liza Fey, Seventh Year Slytherin. Who are you, and what school did you last attend?"

Pearl didn’t notice the girl till she was right in front of her. Neither did she care, even though she made a comment about her attitude. She just licked the bottom of her teeth. “Hmm, your like an open book, I guessed you were Slytherin, the green gives it away and I bet on your good days you love nothing more than to watch there faces fill with fear or maybe pick of a innocent half blood.” Pearl spoke, the emotion in her voice slowly fading as she reached the last word. She began to walk away before stopping a few feet away.

“I am Pearl Swan, and I was transferred from Beauxbatons” She spoke with a little coldness in her voice, she wasn’t usually this icy but having spent most of the day on a train without a wink of sleep or maybe it was just learning that her mother died after 4 weeks of no contact.

Pearl moved her bag closer as she started to walk even further away, no doubt thinking that this will piss Liza Fey off but at this moment she just didn’t care what the hell that girl did.

I freeze as she comments on me, and my eyes cloud as I lean against a wall, her remark about teasing Half-bloods hitting close to home. After all, before I met Lily Cole, I had been like that. I wasn't angry, just saddened, the ice in me melting as I slumped. I closed my eyes for a moment, then opened them as she spoke her name. It was nice enough, though my mind was lingering on her judgement of me. She started to walk away, and I watched her going before calling after her.

"You're wrong you know," I called, my voice soft, sad, and memories clouded my mind for a brief moment, "On my good days I don't cry over the fact my half-blood girlfriend just died."

I don't know what drove me to tell her that, perhaps my wish to escape what my family name would have me turn into. Few people knew I cried, now I'm sure plenty would, and yet strangely I had the feeling it would be in my favour. My followers would respect me for being human, my enemies might give me a excuse to hurt them.

I turn away from her, not waiting to see if she stops or not, instead spotting a yellow lily growing, and plucking it from the ground, clasping it to my heart, the closest I would get to hugging a Lily again.

Pacing the courtyard with Ron and Harry hadn't been as much fun as it used to. I suppose I kind of missed Liza's company; We hadn't talked since Lily's death. It saddened me that I had lost two friends in such a short space of time. I longed to hear Lily's voice, and yearned for the plots and plans of Liza.

Its was then that I noticed a girl, she was new - obviously, she was wearing her own clothes - and was surrounded. The closest person to her was Liza. But... then Liza turned away: she looked deeply hurt. Was it possible for someone to do that to Liza?
She was hugging a flower. I noticed it was a lily, and felt a pang of guilt that I hadn't been able to help her with the loss of her girlfriend - One of my friends.

I took it upon myself to approach. I mumbled my apologies to Ron and Harry - "I'll be right back, I swear it." - and set off across the courtyard.
I would go to Liza first.

I tried to stall; I thought it would be awkward, talking to her after such a long spread of silence. But I knew it was usless.
I stood bhind her for the longest of times, reaching desperately for the courage to tap her shoulder. A croak escaped my lips; a lousey attempt at speaking her name.

I turned at hearing a croak of my name, turned and saw one person I didn't want to see. Hermione Jane Granger, one of my friends, who I couldn't call a friend anymore. It was too painful to be near her, and the sadness in my face intensified. I struggled to keep my eyes dry, the dull colour misting over as I remembered that only a few short days ago, I had intended on proposing to Lily, and soon after I did not, she had died. I blamed myself. The guilt was what made me so cold, the sorrow making me sad, my powerlessness making me angry.

"Grang...Hermione...did you want something?" I asked, my tone cold, icy even, but with a delicate pain that was previously unknown to be in my voice. My eyes didn't meet hers, for fear she would see how dead they looked. Instead I focused my eyes on the retreating form of Pearl, the mysterious new girl, so cold and judgemental. I was loath to admit it, but her judgement had hurt me, because she had been so close to how I had once been.

I dropped the lily and slumped against the wall, glad the crowd was gone, I couldn't take having to hear their thoughts on my current state. I must be strong, sleeplessness is nothing, death is nothing, I must learn to feel nothing, nothing at all, I must be strong. I could not...could not give in. I ached all over, but in my heart most of all, and I almost wished Hermione had not knocked my wand out of my hand.

The minute she turned to face me, her face fell even farther. This made me feel even worse that I had orginally. I wished so much that the entire Lily incident had never occured. Then things would still be good. Things would be the same.

"I, uh... I don't know what I want." a frown exhoed in my voice. My words were the closest I could get to reality: I wanted numerous things. I wanted everything between us to be as it one was, I wanted Lily to be alive and well, I wanted to feel comfertable by the black lake again, I wanted not to be so closed off with Ron; I unconsiously blamed him for not getting help soon enough.

Liza didn't, wouldn't look me in the eye. She seemed preoccupied by the new girl, slightly put-out by her. I wondered what was so influencing, and narrowed my eyes in her direction. She seemed pretty normal to me... but there was something familiar in the shape of her nose, and the way her skin glinted.

"Liza..." I reached my hand out and put it on her shoulder cautiously, expecting her to flinch away at any moment, or attack me without prior warning.

"If you don't know what you want," I say softly, my tone verging on lethal, "Then why did you speak to me Granger?" I asked. I was sad, and now I was angry. Hermione was a smart girl, and she must have known the pain it would cause me to see her, one person who had been close to me and to Lily. I didn't hate Hermione, but if I never saw her again, I wouldn't regret it.

She spoke my name and placed her hand on my shoulder, and instinctively I jerked her hand off, "Don't touch me," I growled, life flashing in my eyes, a fire starting to light up. I didn't want her sympathy, sympathy wouldn't bring Lily back. All it did was serve to agitate me, it was like she was mocking me with her very presence. I glared at her, and then remembering Pearl's judgement in me, I dulled and slumped again.

Suddenly, something happened that I couldn't have anticipated...my spells wore off. Suddenly my skin was almost translucent, white and ghost like. Dark bags appeared under my eyes and I looked worn out. My hair lost some of it's fullness, and its shean was non-existance. It was more than clear something was seriously wrong, my whole appearence fell apart.

"No!" I screamed hoarsely, fumbling for my wand and turning sharply away from Hermione, muttering incantations as fast as I could, trying to replace the spells before anyone else could see me. I had no time, and the spells weren't as good, though they gave me some of my previous gleam again.

Liza's tone scared me. I had heard her scream at the top of her lungs before now, but this was somehow worse. The softness was like a blunt instument digging into me. She was noticeably angry, and I feared that I was the one who caused it.
I felt anger spark inside her, more intense when she jerked away from me. I saw this coming so I didn't react apart from mumbling an apology quietly.

Bu then, suddenly, Liza's appearance changed dramatically. She look so frail compared to her apearance just seconds earlier. I was shocked.
She seemed to have noticed, too, and a look of despair came over to her and she swung sharply away from me, muttering incantations.
What had happened to her?

I decided she needed to be alone. "I'll see you around, pure blood" the added bit to the end was my own joke. Not much of a laugh out loud, comical joke, but something that seemed to make me feel better about walking away from her in such a state.
I turned away from her in a swift movement, and began to walk away.

Pearl stood there silently and listened to there conversation, to any normal person it would be upsetting, but yet Pearl still felt nothing for Liza, not even pity, but by the very sounds of it her judgement on Liza was correct. Pearl turned on her heel and began to pace towards them both before the other girl could walk away.
Looking towards the fallen lily she stopped herself from raising an eyebrow. Lilies were beautiful to look at but always left a nasty stain on your fingertips.

Peal took of her hat and shook her hair out so it flowed loosely around her shoulders; she then stuffed it under her arm and looked up at Liza and sighed. “Hiding behind spells never works…” She almost tutted while kissing her teeth, she wasn’t sure what she hoping to achieve but she was trying not to make matters worse.

Pearl twisted a strand of hair around her finger and began to twirl it while looking up at Liza and the new girl. “Fate is an elegant cold hearted whore.”

I watch Hermione walk away sadly and yell after her, "I'm sorry Granger...I wish it wasn't like this!" I called, my voice cold, sad and with loss. I didn't get a chance to wait for her to reply, because Pearl came over. She took her hat off, her hair cascading over her shoulders. For a moment I stood speechless, entranced curious look in my dull eyes, not exactly interest, more a artistic appreciation.

Then she spoke, talking of how hiding behind spells never worked, and I lowered my eyes in submission. I knew she was right, and yet I didn't know what to do. I was immune to Dreamless Sleep Potions, I'd taken so many. I just needed to sleep again, sleep without dreams and I'd be okay. Hell, death would be prefereable to my nightmares at the moment.

When she spoke of Fate I nodded, "And a sadistic bitch, giving you nothing, then letting you think you stand a chance of happiness before ripping it away," I say, my voice not quite cold anymore, nor angry, perhaps closer to just sad. I seemed in a flux of the three states lately, nothing giving either way.

When liza spoke I felt the warm beginnings of tears sting in my eyes. If we both wished the same thing, surely it could turn into reality? I turned around again, a widely spoken apology - for everything - forming on my lips. But before they had the chance to escape, the new girl turned and began to speak.

The pair (Liza and the new girl), seemed to be holding a conversation on fate. Fate; the very thing that controlled our lives. The thing that bought Lily's death, Liza's heartache, my pain, and this girl into our midst.
But fate was also created by ourselves. Sometimes fate had no control over us. It was like a pupeteer while we were the puppets. But puppets could break free, right?
“Fate is for those too weak to determine their own destiny,” I spoke aloud. I didn't know if they could hear me, but it didn't matter.
I wiated a few moment until I spoke again, first adressing the new girl, yet I spoke at the same, low level as before.
"I'm Hermione Granger. It's a pleasure to make your aquaintence, I suppose." I settled my eyes on her for a moment, then looked upon Liza. "And I do apologise for everything, Liza. If I could change the way things happened, trust me, I would. But we'll just have to move on, one day"

Pearl turned towards the other girl and raised an eyebrow. “Most are all weak.” Pearl commented as she turned her whole body towards her. “I am Pearl Swan and the same to you... I suppose” Pearl copied Hermione’s tone of voice at the end of her introduction.

Pearl took a step back and looked between them both with a sly smirk. “Death happens, its better to get over it sooner than later, otherwise you realise that you wasted a part of your life doing some thing that you couldn’t prevent even if you were there to witness it.” Peal didn’t care less if she didn’t make senses as she began to walk away from them both.

I looked at Hermione with a raised brow as she speaks of Fate, her views of mild interest, and ones I can happily disagree with. "It isn't weak to accept that things will happen that are beyond human control, because that is what Fate is, things beyond human control that affect human lives...or rather, that affect everything," I say, sure of myself and my view. No doubt people would disagree, but for myself it was good enough to hold water.

I was more animated now, my eyes beginning to gain some life not born of anger. When Pearl began to walk away, I swiftly followed and then stopped in front of her after overtaking. "You make a valid point, and yet the way you speak seems strangely heartless. The death of someone close requires healing time, especially when that someone close was helping to repair past damage. Especially when the loss of that someone close leads to more damage than ever before. It's not as simple as 'getting over it'," I say defiantely, my eyes flashing, not in resentment or anger, but in challenge.